


Scribbled Signature

by whatsyeroffer



Series: Something to Laugh About [8]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Celebrity Appearance, Crack Fic, F/F, Kara can't read cursive handwriting but honestly who can
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-02-01 02:08:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12694854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatsyeroffer/pseuds/whatsyeroffer
Summary: Kara's starting drama in the name of protecting Alex. Astra catches all of her niece's glares and poor Neegl is gonna look into moving when all this is done.If only Astra wasn't such a fangirl for one of the greatest actresses of all time...





	1. Neegl Fleeys

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mzhlf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mzhlf/gifts).



> It was so funny to have this old idea come back to life! Shout out to @mzhlf for creating and encouraging crack ideas with me thru text!
> 
> I love you, Lin!

“I can’t believe Astra is missing out on The Good Place with us.” Said Kara as she scooped up a handful of popcorn and shoved the delicious snack into her mouth. She wiped the excess butter on the blanket she shared with her sister.

Alex was none the wiser that Kara was ruining the fabric. Her eyes were glued to her phone on which she was playing an addictive game. “Uh huh.” She mumbled out distractedly.

“Where did J’onn send her this time?”

The agent took a moment to register that her sister asked a question. “Oh um, he didn’t.” She tapped furiously on the screen and sighed in relief before continuing with, “She’s just out somewhere. She said she’d be home later.”

That wasn’t usual for Astra… Kara decided to accept it for now, since Alex didn’t seem the least bit worried. Still, there was a small frown on her face. Myriad was a thing of the past but-

“Hey,” Alex nudged Kara with her knee. “Can you go get the portable charger from my bedroom?”

Kara whined. “We’re supposed to be binge-watching this, Alex!”

“We totally are!” Alex argued, matching her tone. “But Kara, my phone is on three percent...”

“Fiiiiine.” The Kryptonian acted like getting up from the couch was the biggest inconvenience of her life. She threw the blanket off of her legs, smiling when Alex let out a noise of protest since it covered her phone for half of a second.

Kara shuffled away from the couch as loudly as possible, letting her sister know that getting her charger was a begrudged labor of love. She could practically hear Alex roll her eyes at the teasing theatrics.

As soon as she climbed the stairs to Alex’s bedroom, Kara pulled a face. “Oh gross, you two can’t even make the bed?”

“Not when we’re just going to mess it up again later…”

Kara made a loud gagging noise, but grinned when Alex laughed. She crossed the room to her sister’s side of the bed where the portable charger lay on the bedside table. Grabbing the item, she paused at how most of the pillows were on Alex’s side- Astra’s pillows were mostly in the middle as opposed to on the opposite side. It was kinda cute, though grossly cute.

Then she spotted a white piece of paper sticking out from under what she assumed was Astra’s pillow. Kara raised an eyebrow. What could it be? A sickly-sweet love note? Although it might scar her, she imagined the _blackmail_ and couldn’t help but lift up the pillow and grab the paper that was folded in half.

It was like cardstock instead of flimsy copy paper, but she unfolded it slightly amazed at the perfectly creased edge. There were no unnatural bends like one would assume there would be if Astra was sleeping with it under her pillow...

There was a name scribbled on the bottom half of the paper. Under the horrible script was a phone number, but what really caught her eye was the _red lipstick print_ next to the name. Kara gasped, a hand flying up to cover her mouth, but it seemed Alex was oblivious to what was taking her so long to get her charger. Her heart beat steady on.

Kara narrowed her eyes at the paper again, “Neegl Fleeys.” The name fell from her mouth quietly, disgustedly, like the first time she had uttered a curse word.

She frowned and tucked the paper back under the pillow. Still in a daze, she exited the bedroom and mechanically handed Alex her phone charger. She plopped back down onto the couch and Alex assumed her weird behavior was part of her theatrics. Kara heard The Good Place resume, but suddenly she was hundreds of miles away.

_Was Astra cheating on Alex?_

The evidence was pretty convincing. What else could a name, a phone number, and a kiss mark mean?

She struggled to understand why Astra would hide the damning paper under her pillow, but-

What if it was a recent development? Astra had just hurriedly shoved the contact away, hiding it as Alex entered _their_ room. Was that where Astra was today? With Neegl Fleeys?

Kara couldn’t help the way her jaw clenched. Alex was her protector, but Kara was _just_ as protective. _No one_ messed with her sister. She frowned and shifted, snuggling into her older sister’s side. Alex welcomed the cuddles and put an arm around Kara’s shoulder to pull her closer.

Quietly Kara asked, "Does the name Neegl Fleeys mean anything to you?”

“… Does it mean anything to anyone?”

So Alex didn’t know… Kara debated about whether to mention the paper to her or not. She needed answers first before she inevitably broke her sister’s heart… Kara nuzzled her head into Alex, trying to show comfort, trying to figure out what to do about Alex’s _girlfriend_ cheating on her.

Kara stewed silently through an episode. She wanted to find this _Neegl Fleeys_ and give them a piece of her mind. Maybe a stern talking to would convince them to stop whatever stupid thing it was they started. _Then_ she would have a long talk with her aunt.

After Astra had finally showed up, she had excused herself to take a shower immediately. Kara couldn’t help but notice how _messy_ her aunt’s hair was and while she hoped it was just from flying, part of her worried that it wasn’t the case.

Kara had left quickly to avoid starting a scene in front of her amazing, _unsuspecting_ , sister.

* * *

First, she needed to find Neegl Fleeys.

From her photographic memory, she called the number on the paper. It went to voicemail all twenty times before she gave up on trying to contact them that way.

So, Kara fired off a text to Lena. “You have some pretty important contacts, right?”

Not even a second later came her response. “Yes, why?”

The Kryptonian loved how fast the other woman texted back and she smiled, but no. She had to _focus_. “I kinda need to find someone.”

“Let me handle it.”

And Kara sent her the homewrecker’s name. She tried to go about her day at work, but couldn’t help checking her phone every hour on the hour.

Finally, her phone dinged and she received a text that read: “I’m sorry Kara, I wasn’t able to find anything :(“

“<3 don’t worry about it.”

Her second instinct was to recruit Winn.

Supergirl stormed into the DEO and stood by his desk, arms crossed over her chest. “I need your help, Winn.”

He jumped a bit in his seat and his chair swiveled so he could look up her. He was going to make a joke about having a heart attack, but at Kara’s stern face… He knew this was _serious_. “What’s up, Kara?”

“Are the others out?” By the others of course she meant the rest of the superfam.

“Yeah, they’re catching an alien that I was finally able to track down after _months_ of- you don’t care. Sorry,”

Kara’s frown broke, her lip quirking up slightly. “I need you to locate someone named Neegl Fleeys.”

“What a weird name.” 

“I know right?” Kara huffed. “It shouldn’t be hard to find someone with a stupid name like that but Lena couldn’t find anything.”

Winn leaned back in his chair and raised an eyebrow. “Lena couldn’t find them?” He whistled. “How are we going to-“ He stopped mid-sentence.

They regarded each other for a moment. Then they looked at the computer in front of him, back at each other, then Winn quickly typed in the name.

Kara held her breath as the computer did a quick search through the DEO database.

And there _was_ a Neegl Fleeys.

Kara deflated when the alien’s profile popped up on his screen. Neegl had an androgynous humanoid face, albeit almost purplish in skin tone.

She couldn’t believe it. The fact that Winn had found Neegl meant that _this_ wasn’t just some tv binge-watching induced fever dream. The alien really had given Astra that piece of paper and she had kept it…

Rao, her aunt might have questionable morals like _all the time_ , but she didn’t think the woman was capable of _cheating_ _on Alex._

Winn knew the alien was gonna get it when Kara turned on her heels and stomped out of the DEO.

* * *

Neegl Fleeys was locking up their bike in front of their apartment complex in downtown National City. They were lucky enough to be one of the local delivery persons despite their _alien_ status and they had just finished their assignment for the day.

The last thing they expected was for Supergirl to slam down from the sky near them, destroying part of the sidewalk. The resulting mini-earthquake registered on the local seismometer.

Supergirl moved to stand in front of Neegl- they were a lot smaller than she had imagined. She towered over them with her fists on her hips and fire in her eyes. “No one likes a homewrecker.”

They held up their palms in surrender, nearly shaking. “I-I thought that house was empty. I didn’t know any better back then. It was 10 years ago!”

Kara huffed. “You can drop the innocent act right now, mister. I know what you’ve been up to and it isn’t just illegal squatting. I’m here to put a stop to it.”

Poor Neegl Fleeys cowered in fear in front of her. And unfortunately, a neighbor took a picture. Kara didn’t even notice the scene she was creating.

“This is your only warning; leave Astra alone. She’s _happily_ in a relationship.” Supergirl glared at the _homewrecker_ and when the alien nodded, she gave the classic ‘I’ll be watching you’ hand gesture and took off into the sky.

* * *

Kara felt like a petulant child being reprimanded as she stood in front of Alex and Astra. Alex held the paper out so she could see the picture of Supergirl and the scared alien. The headline read:

_“Supergirl Terrorizes a Small Defenseless Local Refugee.”_

Alex then threw the paper on her dining room table and she crossed her arms over her chest. The way her eyebrow quirked up demanded answers. Beside her, Astra kept her expression carefully blank.

“Kara, what was this about?” Alex asked.

Kara glared at Astra, the older woman straightened and seemed confused. “It’s not for me to say, is it? _Aunt Astra.”_ Her answer _oozed_ passive aggressiveness.

Alex turned to her girlfriend, “What is she talking about?”

Astra’s eyebrows furrowed.

_That_ made Kara fume. Astra didn’t get to pretend she didn’t know what this was about! Her aunt needed to cut the faux confusion! Like now! She continued to scowl at her aunt, expecting her to confess any moment.

But Astra said, “I haven’t the slightest idea.”

Kara scoffed and in a rush of wind, she sped off out of the apartment. She was back in the next moment with Neegl Fleeys and she dropped them unceremoniously in the middle of Alex’s apartment.

“When were you going to come clean about this?” Kara demanded, glaring at Astra.

The older Kryptonian shook her head, “Is that the alien from the newspaper?”

Kara finally snapped. She wasn’t going to play these games anymore! “You’re cheating on my sister with them!”

“What?!” Three-fourths of the room’s occupants yelled at the same time.

Astra looked absolutely _revolted_ and Neegl was about to pass out. Alex only had to glance at her girlfriend’s face before she scoffed, not believing _that_ at all.

Kara pointed to her aunt. “Don’t fall for her innocent act, Alex.”

When Astra didn’t say anything, Kara stomped past Astra and fished under the pillow and pulled out the paper. She unfolded it harshly, holding it up and gesturing to it wildly with her other hand. “This! I’m talking about _this,”_

She heard her sister beginning to talk to Neegl but all of her focus was on Astra. Her aunt had _cracked a smile_ , but Kara could read the fear in her eyes. It was all the confession she needed and she shook her head in disappointment.

Astra took a slow step forward, “Please put that down Kara, it is very precious to me…”

Kara nearly exploded. “Oh yeah? More precious than Alex?”

_And Astra hesitated._

“… In a different way, but yes.”

Alex snorted. “Thanks babe.”

Kara gasped. She couldn’t believe her ears and she looked past her frightened aunt to gape at Alex. “You _knew_ about this?”

“Kara… It’s under her pillow. Of course, I knew.” She sounded exasperated and it cut Kara deep. Was Alex expecting her to be _okay_ with this?! Alex was acting like it wasn’t even a big deal that Astra was cheating on her. Rao, her sister needed to work on those self-esteem issues…

Kara grabbed the paper with two hands fully intending to rip the paper.

Astra stepped forward again, looking desperate. “Please Kara… You know how much I love Meryl Streep…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kara can't read cursive handwriting, but honestly... who can?


	2. Meryl Streep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the actual meeting of Meryl Streep and Astra bahahaa
> 
> "The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy." -Meryl Streep (the quote that started this entire mess)

_Days Earlier:_

Alex leaned against the table in the middle of the DEO headquarters, staring at the large screens across the room. She was waiting for their satellites to pick up something, _anything._

Her girlfriend was lounging in a chair beside her, trying to pick a fight with her to cure her boredom. “I am just astounded.” Astra said mildly as she bit into an apple loudly. “How has there not been a revolution yet?”

Alex gaze when skyward for a moment, but then she answered. “I think everyone is just worried about surviving.”

“Their idleness will be their death… Humans are hardly worth saving when they have no desire to save themselves.”

Alex bristled slightly; she was about to take the bait.

But then Henshaw walked into the room and intervened. “I believe this subject was on the list of _Banned Conversation Topics_ , you two.”

Astra hid her grin by taking another bite of the fruit; the apple crunched loudly in the silence.

Then the DEO screen beeped.

“Uh, Houston… We have a problem.” Winn muttered as the map of National City flashed red on the large screen.

“What’s the situation?” Henshaw barked.

Alex moved to his side, _so ready_ for whatever would get her out of here.

Winn tapped a couple commands into the keyboard and the camera zoomed in, black smoke filled the screen for a moment. “Looks like an explosion.”

Alex shot a withering look over her shoulder when she heard Astra nonchalantly take another loud bite.

“Wait.” Winn looked at the coordinates. “That’s downtown where they’re filming Meryl Streep’s new movie.”

A breeze blew through the DEO and the ceiling came crumbling down around them. Alex sighed and turned around. Astra’s apple sat abandoned on the table and there was a Kryptonian-sized hole in the roof of the DEO. Alex regarded J’onn’s exasperated expression and Winn’s stunned look.

She rocked back on her heels and explained, “She’s a bit of a fan..."

* * *

Astra flew through the desert and into National City in record time. She landed in the middle of the movie set, people were clamoring, but there was her personal hero in the middle of the chaos- yelling at the crew to evacuate the area. Astra used her freeze breath to blow out the trailer that was currently on fire but then she heard the sound of a gunshot.

Her heart leapt in her throat and the next second she had picked up philanthropist Meryl Streep bridal style into her arms. She took off into the air when she felt a bullet hit her back.

Astra’s stomach was doing flips when she felt _Meryl Streep,_ 8-time Golden Globe winner, tighten her hold around her neck and bury her face into Astra’s shoulder.

The Kryptonian blushed furiously, 100% fangirling. How could she not fangirl when she had one of the best humans on this stupid world in her arms?

But she focused long enough to fly Meryl Streep up to the top of the nearest skyscraper where she would be safe. She set the legend down on her feet and her heart all but stopped when their eyes met and Meryl Streep _smiled at her._

Astra felt faint.

The legendary actress said, “You saved my life.”

Astra was speechless in her presence, so she nodded wordlessly, looking about like an excited puppy.

“I can’t thank you enough.” Then Meryl Streep _hugged_ her. She could tell an excited fan when she saw one- she was used to the reaction, so she gladly reached out to reward her savior.

Astra felt like she was floating. Which she literally was.

When she realized their feet had indeed left the rooftop, Astra hesitantly wrapped her arms around the woman and set them back down.

Astra then grinned. “It would be a tragedy to let anything happen to you, 20-time Academy Award nominee, Meryl Streep.”

The actress grinned back. She held up the crushed bullet, found lodged in the back of her hero’s suit.  “You know, you would make a good bodyguard.”

Astra gaped a little at the suggestion. Protecting arguably one of the most influential women in the world from harm? It was too perfect of a job…

Then the Kryptonian heard the wail of police sirens and she stepped away from the Tony Award winner to survey the scene below. DEO agents and police officers flooded the area. Her mate was currently cuffing the _terrorist_ responsible for the attack.

“I think you’re safe now.” Astra said. She went to scoop the 5-time Grammy Award winner back into her arms, but paused. “May I?”

“Well I’m not gonna climb down all those stairs.”

Astra flew her idol back down to the movie set, still internally screaming.

When she set Meryl Streep down, the legend smiled gratefully. “Thank you for your heroism.” And Astra felt like she should _thank her_ \- for being an inspiration, for being one of the few humans she loved and celebrated. “Is there anything I can do to repay you for saving me?”

Astra just breathily murmured. “May I have an autograph?”

 _Meryl Streep winked at her._ “I can manage that.” Then the Presidential Medal of Freedom recipient went to her trailer and brought back the hero’s reward.

Astra _swooned_ when she took the autograph. “Thank you…” After Meryl Streep was escorted away, Astra stood, frozen, admiring the gift. By Rao, she was lucky…

She was even more thankful when Alex joined her a couple minutes later. “So, how was it? Saving Meryl Streep?”

Astra shook her head and sighed, “Magical.” She might’ve had tears in her eyes, but her mate didn’t judge her. Alex just nodded. Astra couldn’t help but fling her arms around Alex and kiss her soundly on the lips, since words couldn’t express how she felt about the experience.

_Best day ever._


End file.
